29 July 2005


I can't believe how much my life has changed since the 11th. Before then, I wouldn't get things done because I would distract myself with other, pointless things. Now, I'm lucky if I have the time to put on pants. I sleep when he sleeps, and when I do sleep, it's with my glasses on. I barely have time to eat, and now I actually care what food I put into my mouth, since I know my little guy eats it too, sort of.
I just wish I was stronger with all this. The thought of Tom not being home, even for the night, throws me right into the crapper. At least I haven't been having too much of the "bad" feeling in the last couple of days. Although, the blackout last night was a little rough. I hate those things when I don't have a little one to take care of.
When I was in Target the other day, I couldn't take my eyes off the stroller. I was so afraid that someone was going to take him. I'm so glad my mom was with me, so that I could fully focus on him. I'm going to need a lot of help when I first go food shopping, I definitely can't do that alone.
Well, he's done eating, that's my cue to sleep...

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