09 February 2006

One month left....

It is amazes to me just how fast time goes by. The little one sits up like a big boy, he's sprouted his first tooth and he "talks" up a storm - just like Mommy! He looks so much like me it's creepy - I look at this beautiful smiling face and I see a little bit of me smiling back! He has the most wonderful laugh too. No matter how I'm feeling, when I hear his full body laugh it makes everything okay!
I've been having some ups and downs. I never thought we would be at my parents' house for so long. Or maybe I didn't think it would feel like so long. But the time has finally come - we are moving down to PA in the beginning of March! I never imagined that I would so be looking forward to moving away from all I've ever known. I know it's time for me to go, it's time for me to make my own family and not hang on to the "family" that I am leaving. I have an amazing husband, and God gave us the most precious little angel - it's time for me to go and enjoy what I have, and not think about what I don't, that isn't going to change anything. I hope that the crappyness that I feel now will go away when we move. The last thing I want is to rub off poorly on my little one.... everything isn't miserable and I shouldn't always be afraid... I know I was much better living on my own before, so I'm sure that when that time comes again I'll start to get better. I like myself better then. I can't believe that I was so lucky to find Tom and to have the little one - I didn't think I deserved something so great - and sometimes I still don't...

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dtaj7lqob20npe said...
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