30 July 2005

Why can't he sleep at night?

What a long night! From 2 to 5 am, everything I tried to put him in his crib he would just cry and cry. I tried the swaddle, the side sleep, the shush nothing was working. Eventually I got him to calm down and sleep when I lied down and put him on my chest. My mom came in around 5:30 and put him in his crib and he finally slept a bit. Then she said that after I finished feeding him, I should bring him into her room so that I could sleep. Thank God for my Mom!! I think I slept till 8, fed him again, then slept till almost 11. Today would have been miserable if Mom wasn't there to allow me to do that. She really has been absolutely amazing throughout all this. But I still feel bad that she's wasting her whole vacation helping me pack and take care of the wee one. I hope she's not just doing this because we're moving, and she thinks she won't see us. I'm going to be making the trip to NY as much as I can. Even more that I can, I'm going to make the trip even when I feel like I can't. I'm going to miss her too much to not make the trip.
So spending the night without Tom wasn't too bad, I think I was too exhausted to even really notice he wasn't around. Unfortunately, since I spend so much time alone with the baby, the fact that it was dark out and I was alone with him, didn't seem too much out of the ordinary. That's going to be the best part of moving, spending more time with Tom. I hate being without him. I'm sure it's going to be even worse in September with I'm not working. Him and the baby will be my whole world, not that they aren't already. But not working is going to be a HUGE adjustment for me, I don't realize it now because it's summer. So, when we move I'm not going to have anyone else, I'm going to need Tom.
I should go take care of my wee one.

2 weeks till the move...

29 July 2005

First Outing

I have to get better at picking times to sleep. I slept a little extra this morning, but he only slept a little while. Then he slept for like 5 hours this afternoon, when I was doing things around the house. Why the heck couldn't I pick then to sleep?!?!
I'm sleeping at my parents' house tonight since Tom's down at the house. I'm not quite ready to be only with the little one. I hope this all goes pretty smoothly being here with the dog and the baby and no Tom.
I'm exhausted! We took out first unsupervised trip today, and boy did I need a nap after that! Too bad I haven't done that yet. So many people stopped us and said he was so cute and so well behaved. He makes me so proud!! I just love him so much! I haven't cried in a couple of days, go me! I felt a little overwhelmed during the blackout, but that's the worst I've been in a little bit. Oh well, It's time to rouse the child and feed him.

Stay strong!


I can't believe how much my life has changed since the 11th. Before then, I wouldn't get things done because I would distract myself with other, pointless things. Now, I'm lucky if I have the time to put on pants. I sleep when he sleeps, and when I do sleep, it's with my glasses on. I barely have time to eat, and now I actually care what food I put into my mouth, since I know my little guy eats it too, sort of.
I just wish I was stronger with all this. The thought of Tom not being home, even for the night, throws me right into the crapper. At least I haven't been having too much of the "bad" feeling in the last couple of days. Although, the blackout last night was a little rough. I hate those things when I don't have a little one to take care of.
When I was in Target the other day, I couldn't take my eyes off the stroller. I was so afraid that someone was going to take him. I'm so glad my mom was with me, so that I could fully focus on him. I'm going to need a lot of help when I first go food shopping, I definitely can't do that alone.
Well, he's done eating, that's my cue to sleep...