IVF 1.1

So it seems that try 1.1 was a semi-success and Monday morning is my retrieval!  What a long road it was to get her though.  I mentioned in an earlier post, what I went through for attempt number 1.  Well, now it's January 2009, and as promised, we've started again.  

Late in December, I had my first appointment and they checked to make sure that all the cysts were gone so we could start again with a clean slate.  Thankfully, everything was all clear and I got my instructions to stop the pill in a few days and come in for my first of many sets of blood work and ultrasound.  January 2 they took my baseline blood and ultrasound and the next day I finally started the stimulation phase.  I should probably take a step back here and explain the new method they were trying since my body didn't react to Lupron at all the way it was supposed to.  Usually they shut everything down with Lupron, then start your stimulation and then they do the retrieval.  However, in my case, they started the stimulation first.  During stimulation you get the wonderful pleasure of spending every day or every other day, going to the doctor to have blood work and ultrasound done.  So, after my second day of two injections a day, Low dose HCG in the morning, and Gonal-F in the evening, I go for my first check-up.  Low and behold, the drugs are working!  I was so afraid that something was horribly wrong with me, and none of these hormone altering drugs were going to have any effect on me.  About those wonderful drugs - I have never felt worse in my entire life, then I did the first 24 hours on those drugs.  Here I was worrying about the menopausal effects that the Lupron would have  Those were NOTHING compared to thee hell of the HCG and Gonal F.  Also, I was supposed to behave as if I was pregnant.  That meant none of the drugs I usually take, especially my migraine medicine, Imitrex.  Well the problem with that is that one of the main side effects of both those medicines is migraines and by 5 o'clock the first day on them, I had one of the worse migraines of my life!  I tried all my old drug-free migraine remedies and none of them worked.  Crying hysterically in a hot shower, I finally broke down and gave myself an imitriex injection.  The doctor had said that I would "do what you have to do"  and honestly I would not have survived the last week without my imitrex.  I couldn't, in good conscience, torture one child with his mom strapped to the sofa, trying to make another one.  Thankfully, as the week when on I did feel much better, headache wise anyway.  I feel like someone strapped a spare tire to my belly, but that's what yoga pants were made for.

So, I go in for my first check-up and the drugs are working, but already, one of the follicles in my right ovary had pulled ahead of the pack.  My nurse said we'd watch it, but worse case, we wouldn't be able to use that ovary.  I had my next appointment on Wednesday, and that's when things started to head down hill.  During Wednesday's ultra sound, the big follicle in the right was bigger and now there was a pack leader in the left one too.  After checking my blood work and checking with the doctor they decided to keep me day-to-day but to add in my new "lupron" called ganarelix. (for you playing at home, we're now up to three injections a day)  And, to add insult to injury, I now have to go to the doctor every morning.  Have you ever tried to wake up a thee year-old at 7 for 4 days in a row to go to the doctor with you?  It's not pretty.  Thursday's appointment Tom decides to come with me, since we're no longer in the routine check-ups that we thought we'd be having at this point.  Usually, I only see a nurse in these check-ups, but Thursday my doctor walked in, so I knew I was in trouble.  After looking at the day's ultra sounds, we discussed our options.  Since I had a giant follicle in each ovary I could stop and start all over again, which would then mean we'd have to pay again for some of the process, which, by no stretch of the imagination would be cheap, or we could continue with the possibility of only retrieving 2 eggs.  We collectively decided to continue since we have no intention of freezing any embryos and all the eggs that we get to fertilize will be transferred.  But, we're still playing it day-to-day.  If the big guys get too big, we won't be able to use them either, because they would be over mature.  By Thursday night my husband and I are both a disaster.  This whole process has been so trying on us both, which has made us irritable and moody and not a whole lot of fun for our angel of a little boy to have to deal with.  Thankfully, by Friday things were looking up.  During Friday's ultrasound, our doctor said, "I amend yesterday's number, I think we'll be able to get at least 6."  The big ones weren't any bigger and the little ones were starting to catch up!  Go Ganarerlix!!  We now, tentatively, had a retrieval day of Monday!  Here's where my side of the story will differ from my husbands.  I had a different nurse and doctor this morning then I have had all week.  This is a doctor whom I have a little history with and it's not good.  Compared to the AMAZING doctors in my practice, she is mediocre.  Her bedside manner is harsh and she doesn't seem to care that having to be at an infertility doctor is one of the worst places people want to have to be, but I digress.  In talking with my Mom about today's events I do feel a little better about the whole thing, but basically the doctor I saw today said that she thinks we're only going to be able to get three.  So which is it, I ask?  I'm trying not to freak out until after the retrieval, but she told me some other upsetting news.  They will not be able to tell if an egg is mature until after they try to fertilize it.  But we were only planning on trying to fertilize 2, which could very easily mean that there could be no embryos to transfer. 

Today left me feeling less than excited that this whole ordeal is ever going to work.  Hopefully, they get three good eggs from me, hopefully, 2 of those eggs fertilize, hopefully 1 of those eggs implants in me and we get a healthy little baby.  The math teacher in me is rolling the numbers around in my head, and they don't feel good.  I can only hope that a few months from now, when I'm nice a pregnant and eating ice cream for breakfast, that I'll laugh about how I was freaking out about my odds, as I'm carrying twins....is that too much to hope for?